*Please note - I started this post on November 5th, 2011. I came back today to check my drafts and have wanted to share this story with you for a long time, so I decided to edit and post.
Nov. 5, 2011...
Hello Faithful Readers - all tenish of you. A dear friend of mine called me last week and said, Allison I read your blog the other day and you are way behind! I haven't been able to access my blog in about three months. I am so excited to finally be back...honestly I need something right now to help pass the time.
My Grandma Batten was admitted to the ER at Rex hospital last Sunday. The past seven days have been some of the most emotional I have experienced in quite a while. Her oxygen levels were very low and she was retaining a lot of fluid. Things have been up and down all week. I'm carefully typing this post and trying to keep it simple, as I am running on very little brain power and sleep.
January 16, 2012...
Wow - so much has changed since this last post...I will try to catch you up quickly. Grandma spent a little over a week in various places of Rex hospital at the end of October and beginning of November. She went from ICU to a regular room, to CCU, back to a regular room and was discharged to a local rehabilitation and nursing care center (hopefully for a temporary time before going back home). This time was one of the most trying and scariest that our family has ever experienced.
On Wednesday, November 2nd, Grandma could talk of nothing but going home to be with Jesus. It was hard to sit by her bedside and listen to her wishes and desires, to hear her ask my brother questions, me questions, make sure mom knew exactly what she wanted, right down to the outfit she wanted to wear. She was having a party that night in her hospital room, while the rest of us yearned for her to stay with us, to stop 'talking crazy', and to just put up a will to fight. The following Friday, I could hardly drag myself out of bed. I woke up with a very heavy heart and foggy mind. I went to work and cried my way through morning duty...Came into the library and cried my way through open check out. I was caught between my obligation of work, and needing to be with my family. I knew something was wrong that day. Now for those of you who know me, I am a strong person. To see me cry is usually because it's linked to tragedy. To show emotion is something I taught myself not to do (not in the sense of crying anyway) a few years ago. I had to stop crying over everything in order to survive. Luckily, a dear friend at work knows me better than I know myself. She finally walked across the hallway, told me she had a sub lined up to come in at 11:30 and that I was going to visit my Grandma. I was incapable of making that decision for myself, thank goodness God gives us friends to look out for us!
I got to Rex between 1 and 2 and spent about two hours with grandma and some other family members before they took her down for an upper GI procedure. They took her down around four and my Aunt (who had flown in from TX the night before) desperately wanted a shower and a nap. I, not being one to like sitting around, volunteered to drive her to my uncle's. Jason went with me and we stopped at Starbucks on the way back. The idea of drinking coffee, away from the hospital, and attempting to talk about something other than all that had gone wrong was so appealing to me that afternoon. No sooner had we gotten our coffee, Jason's phone rang. I could tell it was my mother, and I knew if she was calling him, instead of me, it was bad news. Grandma had coded...That's all they knew. Rex is not even a mile from Starbucks, but it seemed like an eternity between getting in the car and getting back to my family.
Immediately all of these thoughts start flying through my head...bad thoughts (this could be it)...good thoughts (like how glad I was that SL sent me home from school that day because it could be the last time I saw my grandma). The next few hours seemed like a life time. The hospital Chaplin spent a lot of time with us. There was a lot of waiting, and walking down long halls into secret rooms. Through this process I found out that giving up the show Grey's Anatomy a few years ago was a good thing, I already knew too much about those secret rooms and was certain they took us back there to break the bad news to us. Fortunately, they were able to bring her back, but she was on a respirator and things would be touch and go for a while. I think she was asleep for about three days. There were times of consciousness when she would wake up, try to talk, smile at us and go back to sleep. But for the most part - she was on vacation (in a sense).
Things are such a blur after that, from the three days in CCU and then moving to a regular room, and within a week she was moved to rehab. I realize that families go through things like this all the time, and more times than not, the results are a lot worse than what we went through...But I do know this was the most trying time my mom's side of the family has ever faced.
I learned a lot through those two weeks, and the ones that have followed...
- Don't take a moment with the ones you love for granted. Okay, so they drive you absolutely crazy sometimes, so what. If your grandma wants you to come over and sit with her - do it. If your granddaddy wants you to go to a parade with him, do it.
- Don't forget to praise God in the storms, and in the sunshine. It was so easy to pray while Grandma was in the hospital - we had nothing but time to pray...But we, as humans, so often forget to stop and thank God when he actually gives us (or in some cases doesn't) what we ask for.
- Work...is not the most important thing on the face of this earth. If you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach saying 'go' - then do it and don't look back. I love my job, the kids, and the people I work with, but they are not the top priority in my life.
- God is not going to leave your side...how quickly we leave His sometimes though...
Here is is, two months later, and grandma is doing fantastic. She still lives at the rehabilitation center and her loving husband has been to see her almost every day. She was able to spend the day at home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. She's lost a lot of weight and is feeling stronger on a daily basis, she has even walked a few steps. Granddaddy has also been able to take care of some of his health issues that have been put on the back burner for a while. Our prayer is that once she is home, that she will continue to work hard, do things for herself, and not settle into the old way of life.
