The Fingerprints of God

"I can see the fingerprints of God

When I look at you

I can see the fingerprints of God

And I know it's true

You're a masterpiece that all creation

Quietly applauds

And you're covered with

The fingerprints of God."

~Fingerprints of God - Steven Curtis Chapman

On the way home from work Friday this song came on the radio. Although the song is written more as an encouragement to those who do not see themselves like God does, or the people around them do, it immediately made me think of Collen. He had been on my mind all day because I had planned a visit with him and his mom for later that afternoon. I could not wait to get my hands on that sweet little boy!

I have always considered babies God's greatest creation, and could see the fingerprints of God all over Collen. It still amazes me at how God works, the intricate details that go into making a child. When Collen was not very happy with me at one point, I looked into his tiny mouth and said, "Isn't it amazing that his teeth are in there? That got Lindsay and I both giggling, but it is amazing if you really stop to think about it.

I look forward to many more visits with Mr. Collen in the near future - and a lot more BaBy LoVe!

Heaven is the Face of a Little Boy

Jesus said, Let the little children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 NIV

One year ago today the world stopped turning...Maybe it was for a brief moment, but it felt like an eternity to those who know and love Ayden Brooks Jones. The soon to be four month old, was called to Heaven on August 25, 2009. Today we stop to remember the joy he brought to all who were lucky enough to have a part in his life, no matter how small...And we celebrate the part he still plays in our lives, and those who have heard his story.

Steven Curtis Chapman has a song, written in remembrance of his daughter, called Heaven is the Face of a Little Girl. This song has been on my mind and in my heart lately, pretty much any time that Ayden's face flashes across my memory. When I think of Ayden, I think of all the children lost before or after their birth that are surrounding Jesus' feet.

It would be a lie to say that all memories are happy ones. I've posted before about that terrible day last year, the phone call from Kristina and the endless hours afterwards on the phone and on Internet trying to find answers. I still get angry at that the gut wrenching hurt that hits me out of no where at times...How dare I be so sad, so upset, so distraught...how dare I question God's plan. If I am feeling this way what to Lindsay and Jeremy feel? His grandparents? His Aunts and Uncles? I selfishly ache for the things his family missed...the first birthday of cake in the face, first steps, first words...

A lot has happened in the past year. Lindsay and Jeremy sold their house and are currently bunking with her parents until getting a new home set up. Collen Brooks Jones (baby boy #2) was born on Sunday, August 22nd. We welcome him with open arms and loving hearts. We pray for happiness and joy to be restored, but also for Ayden never to be forgotten.

Today, I remember a life that changed mine forever.

Don't Define Your Life by Your Biggest Heartache

I've been putting this blog off for over a week, but I'm afraid if I do not type it tonight then it might not get done at all. On July 25th I had the pleasure of visiting Calvary Baptist Church and listening to one of the most wonderful sermons I have ever heard. Pastor Dees shared about Sarah and Abram. The sermon was titled, LIFE WITH GOD, "A Recipe for Disaster". Scripture was taken from Genesis 16:1 - 6.

If you want your relationship/life with God to be a disaster do the following:
Harbor Resentment
Blame God for Your Disappointments
Adopt Worldly Behavior
Be Spiritually Passive
Determine your own Timetable

As I was filling out the sermon outline I jotted down a few things that really spoke to me and wanted to share them with my handful of readers. First, you must understand the events in Abram's and Sarah's life. When Abram had been promised to be a father of great nations, and Sarah, not able to have children, determined her own timetable and thought that the only way God's promise could be fulfilled is for her husband to father children with her servant. With that being said, these were some of the things that stood out to me.

First - Your life can be defined by your biggest heartache...Sarah became known by her circumstances, can you imagine that she perhaps walked into a crowded room and the pity people felt b/c she could not have children, or perhaps she introduced herself and said, Hi I'm Sarah and I can't have kids....Her trouble had become her identity.

Second - Sometimes people make their trouble their shield - A place to hide...Oh how many times have I hidden behind my own fears, disappointments, and heartaches? Let's face it, some days I still do this, but I think that's natural to a point.

Third - When you are living in Genesis 16 it is hard to wait for and see the hope in Genesis 21. Completely confused? In Genesis 16, Sarah takes God's plan into her own hands, in Genesis 21 she becomes pregnant. Guilty again - It's so easy to get wrapped up into the events and the circumstances of the present and to see no light at the end of the tunnel or hope for the future.

Fourth - The resentment you harbor is the sin that Jesus died for.

Towards the conclusion we were given several ways for your life with God to be a success and the one thing that spoke most to me was this; HAS THE THING I AM EXPECTING, OR BEING DISAPPOINTED ABOUT, BEEN PROMISED TO ME BY GOD? Maybe that isn't as revolutionary to you as it was to me, but man. How many times have I thought something that I wanted was about to happen, maybe this relationship was going to work out, or this job, or anything else that I dreamed up in my head and actually thought that God was having a hand in it but had no justification that he was? Too many - too many that were not promised to me by God. How can we question and be disappointed with God for things he never promised us. As I was reading back over my notes today I started thinking about something else, when bad things happen to good people. We always say, they didn't deserve that. Did God ever PROMISE Christians that we would be spared by heartache and pain? No...so we should not be bitter, angry, or disappointed with Him about it.

With all that being said...I have a long way to go. I still have circumstances that I wish were different, but God has them that way for a reason. I still see good people go through bad things and get angry about it. Today I was looking at a picture of a friend who passed away a few years ago and out loud I said, "I miss you, it's just not fair." God never promised me fair. He never promised me a lifetime with the people I love. He never promised me marriage or kids. He promised me a life of eternity in Heaven and all I had to do was accept him into my life. I am so undeserving of what He has given me.