For Everything There is a Season

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven.

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to harvest:

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

A time of war, and a time for Peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A chapter in my life is coming to a close. Some days I embrace it with open arms, eager to turn the page and see what is waiting. Other days I grip as tightly as I can to that final page, the last sentences, the faint memories of a chapter that has lasted over a third of my lifetime. This is a chapter that few people know about and I'd like to keep it that way, but these few people know the toll is has taken on me, especially over the past few months. To you - thank you for drying my tears, embracing my anger, and for just being silent when there were no words to say.

I've spent the majority of my life being a friend to anyone who would accept and love me, to anyone who needed a friend really. I am a friend who accepted without judgement, gave without question, and loved unconditionally. This 'gift', as some of you call it, has brought joy, laughter, love, and positive change. It has also caused a lot of heartache when it comes to those who saw me as temporary. There have been several people come and go throughout the seasons of my life. Some stay in touch...other's don't. I've never been good at letting go, or saying goodbye to people. I've spent hours crying or frustrated over the friends I've lost touch with over the years...and surprisingly enough found some people back in my life that I did not really think would be.

One of my life long friends got married last fall. As I participated in many 'pre-wedding' activities and got to know the other girls in the wedding I learned quickly that we were all so different, but here we were with the common friend - the bride - and playing an important part of her life in one chapter or another. I don't think you can get any more diverse than she and I, but somehow I've been blessed enough to be a small part of her entire book.

This past year "Little Ashley" and I have been reunited - thanks to grad school and my need for constant help. As I was talking to one of my mom's friends last week she said to me, "You go enjoy your weekend, and you go off and get those two married. That Ashley is a good friend Allison, she is an encourager." I got to thinking...she sure is, and God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. It was an honor to be included in her wedding and I enjoyed spending the weekend with Jennifer and Tracy in Morehead.

This weekend gave me a lot of time to think. The passage from the Bible that I began this post with kept coming to mind. The combination of a wedding (starting a new chapter in their lives), and being with two best friends (one who has been for a life time, and another for most of it), and seeing the beauty of the ocean really got my mind going. These are the things that were laid on my heart this weekend:

- Just because friends come and go, doesn't mean that the end has to be a bad thing.

- There is a time to let go. When friends begin to cause more heartache personally than they do joy - it's time.

- When a chapter is ending, there is always one to follow. One with new friendships, new lessons to learn, and new things/people to embrace.

- It's okay to take the focus off of others and put it on yourself, but don't become so consumed that you miss the bigger picture.

- All you really need are a few people, be it family or friends, that love you for exactly who you are, not for who you could be, not for who you were.

Today I am thankful for the few true lifetime friends that I have. I am thankful for the friends that had to let go, you've taught me more than you will ever know. I am thankful for a small spark of optimism that hasn't been present in my life in an extremely long time.