My Temporary Home

For quite some time now I've wanted to start a blog...Shamefully I created one months ago and haven't signed in since, so needless to say I couldn't remember the login info when I tried. After much persuasion from Ashley, and just feeling like the time is right, here I am again.

Over the past week I've heard the song "My Temporary Home" on the radio and it has touched me deeply. Up until last August music never really played a huge key in my life. That transition will be a separate blog for another day. I find myself constantly listening to lyrics as opposed to a favorite artist or a 'good beat'. If you know me I have no rhythm so the beat or tune means very little to me.

I am so thankful that I serve a God who is using my life on Earth as a way to carry out His will. It is also a comfort to me that all the bad things in life, that seem to get worse the older I get, are only temporary. Can you imagine a day when we will stand in front of a God that loved us enough to sacrifice his only son and eternally worship him? I can't wrap my mind around it, but do look forward to it.

Sometimes the business of life gets the better of me. People always say, "God will never give you more than you can handle it." I was a firm believe of that up until a few months ago (stay with me here)...My entire world threatened to swallow me alive - some days it still does...I was, and still do, attempt to conquer not only my issues but the issues of the people that I love the most. I am a fixer, a peace maker, a true and loyal friend...surely it was my responsibility to carry my weight and the weight of others...wasn't it? Besides, God wasn't going to give me more than I can handle, so bring it on. As the days past and other peoples' problems somehow started to be my own and my emotions could not handle the tasks of a normal day I knew something had to give. Not until Ashley and I started working on the Bible study, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, did I realize my thinking was all wrong. God wouldn't give me more than I could handle, but I could give myself more than I could handle. Sure, God asks us to be friends, support systems, but he doesn't expect us to fix everyone else's problems. I was piling the hay stack higher and higher, I put the final straw on that broke the camels back, not God. What have I learned? ... that I have a lot more to learn.

Today I am thankful for friends that do not judge me for my tears or shortfalls. The people that are still standing by me after the dust settles. Thankful for the people that love me unconditionally without thinking somewhere in the back of their mind I could be better if I would just make a few changes about myself.